I want her to know that it is okay and normal to make mistakes, that her needs are as important (and often more so) as those of other family members, friends and others. She is already showing herself to be a real rule follower and gets very upset if she feels that she has broken a rule or disappointed others in some way. Immy is the first child of two first children, both with strong tendencies to please others before themselves. And I’ll love you just as much.” – page 185
You can be nasty, bratty, sloppy, mean, inconsiderate, irresponsible – and it’s okay.
Then I asked her, “Do you know what it would have meant to me if just once you had said, “You don’t have to be so good all the time. One gem I took away from Section 7 was this passage shared as part of the story of a (now adult) good child confronting her mother for the first time about her role as the ‘perfect’ child in their family Siblings Without Rivalry has already positively impacted my parenting in many simple ways, most noticeably with “say what you see,” the new mantra that runs on repeat through my head for much of the day. I have taken away so much from this book and the passage highlighted in the image above provides a fabulous summary of so much that this book teaches.
At the very least, I am intending to read over the passages I have highlighted and the pages with tabbed corners. My first thought on finishing reading Siblings Without Rivalry, “I really want to read this again.” I think it could be helpful for me to have another read through in the hope that as much as possible sticks. We have been reading Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish ( find all SWR bookclub entries here), and in this post I am wrapping up Section 7, the Afterword and a few final thoughts of my own. Welcome back to the Childhood 101 virtual bookclub.
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